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Living with a roommate is one of the most rewarding—and sometimes challenging—parts of the college experience. Whether you're sharing a room with someone you've known for years or someone you just met, living together is an opportunity to learn, grow, and build important life skills.
Every roommate relationship is different. Some roommates become close friends, while others simply learn how to respectfully share a space. Both are successful outcomes.
The key to a positive roommate experience is communication, respect, and a willingness to work through challenges together.
On this page you will find information on how to build a strong roommate relationship, what to do when challenges arise, room changes, and how to find help.
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Start with Shared ExpectationsOne of the best ways to avoid misunderstandings is to talk about expectations early. Your roommate may have different routines, habits, or preferences than you do. By completing the room agreement, you can talk about:
Remember that expectations may change throughout the year. It’s okay—and encouraged—to revisit these conversations. |
Communicate Early On
Small concerns are much easier to resolve than big ones.
If something is bothering you, talk with your roommate respectfully before frustration builds. Be honest about your needs while also listening to theirs. Open communication creates trust and helps prevent misunderstandings.
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Respect Your Shared SpaceYour room is home for everyone who lives there. Help create a positive environment by:
Being considerate of each other’s needs helps everyone feel comfortable. |
Be Thoughtful About Guests
Guests can impact everyone sharing a living space. The right to sleep, study, and feel comfortable in one’s own environment takes precedence over the social desires of a roommate.
Talk with your roommate before inviting people over, especially overnight guests. Everyone sharing the room should be comfortable with guests, and all visitors must follow University Housing policies.
Appreciate Your Differences
College brings together students from many different backgrounds, identities, cultures, and experiences.
Living with someone different from you is an opportunity to learn, grow, and broaden your perspective. Approach differences with curiosity, respect, and empathy.
You Don’t Have to Be Best Friends
Some roommates become lifelong friends. Others simply become respectful roommates.
The goal isn’t friendship—it’s creating a safe, respectful, and comfortable place where everyone can live and succeed.
Disagreements happen. They don't necessarily mean something is wrong—they're a normal part of sharing a living space. If you're experiencing roommate concerns, try these steps:
Step 1: Talk With Your Roommate
Choose a time when both of you are calm and able to have an honest conversation. Focus on the behavior or concern rather than making personal attacks.
Step 2: Revisit Your Roommate Agreement
If you've completed a roommate agreement, use it as a guide. Discuss whether expectations have changed and update your agreement if needed.
Step 3: Connect with Your Resident Advisor (RA) or Community Advisor (CA)
If you're having difficulty resolving the issue, your RA/CA can provide guidance, facilitate conversations, and help you identify possible solutions.
Step 4: Meet with Your Coordinator of Student Development (CSD)
If concerns continue, your CSD can:
- Meet with roommates individually or together
- Facilitate a roommate mediation
- Help develop a plan moving forward
- Connect students with additional campus resources when appropriate
Our goal is to help roommates communicate effectively and create a successful living environment whenever possible.
Sometimes, despite everyone's best efforts, a different living arrangement may be the best solution. While many roommate concerns can be resolved through communication and mediation, room changes may be available when appropriate.
Students may request a room change through the University Housing Portal in their My Cal Poly account. Requests are reviewed based on live space availability. Because University Housing is typically at or near full occupancy, room changes cannot be guaranteed.
Room Change Freezes
At the beginning of each academic term, there is a room change freeze period. During this time, only emergency room changes will be considered. This allows students time to settle into their new environment, adjust to campus life, and work through common roommate concerns with support from Housing staff. Once the freeze period ends, room change requests will be reviewed and processed as space becomes available.
Living with a roommate is an important part of the residential experience and an opportunity to develop communication, problem-solving, and interpersonal skills that will benefit you well beyond college.
If you're experiencing concerns, don't wait until they become overwhelming. Reach out early.
Your Resident Advisor (RA), Community Advisor (CA) and Coordinator of Student Development (CSD) are here to support you, answer questions, facilitate conversations, and help you find the best path forward.
Together, we can help create a respectful, inclusive, and supportive community where everyone has the opportunity to thrive.
